As of this Sunday, I will be 30 weeks pregnant.
That means I’m almost done with this thing. And it’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever done.
I mean, I’m weird by nature, so I guess this should have been more natural to me.
Some of my weird traits: I have to have socks on when I sleep (because cold feet give me insomnia), for years I couldn’t use regular glasses for my drinks because I didn’t like how they squeaked in my hand, and I smell EVERYTHING – linens, dishes, your hair. Just kidding. Not your hair; that’d be weird-creepy. I’m just regular weird.
But you get the idea. I’m quirky.
But pregnancy – wow. This is a whole new kind of weird. At first it was the bloating and the fatigue. GUYS. The fatigue. Why did no one warn me about this? I had read about it but had no idea just how debilitating it was. Just the thought of leaving the house and having to stay awake all day made me want to cry all the tears.
That lasted until week 14 or so. At that point, I experienced pregnancy brain. I’ll spare you the details, but I pretty much thought my dog ran away and she didn’t – she was just with the dog runner. You know, the guy that comes every Friday to run her. But I thought it was Thursday.
And then there was the time my emotions got crossed. When I laugh really hard, I cry. Anthony had me rolling one night and I laughed until I cried – and then my body was like “Oh wait…tears?! That means you’re sad right NOW!” And suddenly I was sobbing because I was so sad. I’m sure the look on Anthony’s face was priceless – but I couldn’t see it through my waves of emotion!
Weird. Pregnancy is weird.
And then there’s how people react to you and your changing body. I’ve never liked my stomach. And then when you’re pregnant it becomes this centerpiece to conversation and interaction. People look at your tummy first before your face. Some people even touch you (to be clear, I don’t mind friends touching the belly. But strangers? Yeah, that’s uncomfortable). And then they comment. I’ve gotten a lot of “Wow! You’re 29 weeks?! You’re tiny for 29 weeks!” But I know I’m not tiny. Hello-I’m 5’10”. Tiny has never been an adjective used to describe me. In the early weeks of pregnancy I got comments from friends like “oh – if I didn’t know any better I would just think you’re getting chubby!” Thanks? I think? How do I respond to that?
But pregnancy also kind of awesome. People are generally nicer to you. They help you with things even though you can do it yourself. They hold doors, let you cross the street, give you a little extra ice cream on your cone. I mean, I’m not going to complain about that!
In the evening hours or the early morning, I see and feel these little kicks and punches. I’m not sure what the heck he/she is doing in there, but with each kick this chapter of my life becomes more and more real.
My body tells me this is real all the time though. I squat a lot for my job. Being an Amazon always gives me a height advantage, but I love getting down low to get those wide shots. It’s not as easy nowadays. I gotta “go” more often and eating big meals is out of the question. This kid is taking up all the room I have to spare. Truthfully though, it’s pretty amazing my body can do this. I’m growing a person because my body knows how to do it. Personally, I have no idea how to build a human, but my body knows. Now if that isn’t weird, I don’t know what is.
Is it a boy or a girl? I haven’t a clue. People keep asking. Currently I have had 3 girl dreams and 2 boy dreams. Most people think it’s a boy but those closest to me insist it’s a girl. Except for Anthony – he still thinks boy. Truly though, I have no idea. So what’s the theme of my nursery you ask? My theme is “there’s-going-to-be-a-baby-and-it-needs-a-room”. Maybe I’m the exception to the rule, but those sorts of things just don’t get me excited.
Two weeks ago, we headed over to Kauai to do a mini-babymoon and to get our maternity photos done by Meg Courtney. I’ve followed her for a long time on Instagram and was completely obsessed with her style and her fiance’s (Peter Brady) amazing drone shots. I’ll say this: it’s nerve-wracking being a client when the weather is acting up. I totally sympathize with my clients now! It POURED rain all the way up until an hour before our session. I was nearly in tears. I really wanted these to be amazing and I really didn’t want the beach. I’ve always felt a special connection to Kauai and I knew that the Napali Coast was where I wanted these done.
We decided to chance it. The radar looked like the storm was clearing. So I turned to Anthony and had him make the call. I was too nervous to make the wrong decision.
He called it right. And the results were nothing short of magic.
So there it is. Pregnancy is weird.
But man am I lucky to be growing this little human inside of me. It’s going to be half-me and half-my-favorite-person-ever. Hopefully a touch more him than me.
I’m doing my best to enjoy every moment of this wild ride.
Hair and makeup by Stephanie Bond
Haku by Kealoha Flowers